Pauline

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So far Pauline has created 16 blog entries.

Right Brain, Left Brain

By | 2017-12-23T23:26:11+00:00 June 17th, 2017|Categories: Uncategorized|

Check out this amazing and touching Ted Talk by neuroanatomist Joan Bolt Taylor who experienced a blood vessel explosion in her left brain. This talk is entitled "A Stroke of Insight" - it also reinforces for me why modalities such as focusing-oriented therapy propels the work for clients, as it facilitates "moving forward" through our connection [...]

Affairs and Attachment Styles

By | 2017-12-23T08:31:51+00:00 March 25th, 2017|Categories: Uncategorized|

Some couples come into therapy to heal from affairs/infidelity. The process of therapy can shed light into the "root" of the "problem," as affairs are often a symptom of a more deeply-rooted issue. While one party is dealing with grief and loss, as well as shame, the other party may be dealing with intense anger and [...]

Emotions need to be “digested” too

By | 2017-12-23T08:36:29+00:00 November 10th, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|

Just as we "digest" food in our bodies, for good health we also need to "digest" our emotions and feelings. Some of us may have the tendency to sweep feelings under the carpet, or to tell ourselves to "get over it." This build-up of undigested stuff could be contributors to a sense of anxiety and/or depression, [...]

Immigration and Adaptation

By | 2017-12-23T08:36:19+00:00 October 31st, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|

This week I presented an "Adaptation to Canada" talk at the "Welcome to Canada" series organized through the Central Vancouver Island Multicultural Society. When we relocate to a new country or city, many stress factors come into play, i.e. navigating job search; cultural/language differences; new friendships/relationships. In addition, we are grieving the family/relationships, country or city/hometown [...]

Are you overscheduled?

By | 2017-12-23T08:44:49+00:00 September 9th, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|

Our modern society seems to thrive on activity, accomplishments, "being on the go." The costs include the following: running on adrenaline, running on empty, lack of rest and restoration, and being out of balance. Check out this quiz to see if you are suffering from being overscheduled? This link also includes useful information about sleep, stress, [...]

“Pausing” to break old habits…

By | 2017-12-23T08:45:19+00:00 September 7th, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|

I am familiar with that tendency towards my own auto-pilot, i.e. reacting in a particular way to someone close to me (getting angry, or avoiding). Pema Chodron, in her book Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears asks us to think about which wolf we want to feed -- the wolf whose stomach [...]

I feel “guilty”!

By | 2017-12-23T23:26:11+00:00 August 26th, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|

Many of us, including myself, have played the role of "pleaser" in order to be loved and accepted. We may be familiar with being guilt-prone and with living with the voice of "shoulds." The following paragraph is excerpted from Wikipedia's description of Guilt (emotion): {Alice Miller claims that "many people suffer all their lives from this [...]

Which part of the tree are you hanging onto?

By | 2017-12-23T08:46:14+00:00 August 13th, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|

If we were holding on to a tree for safety, we wouldn't be at the top of the tree - succumbing to winds, rains, and storms. Similarly, living in our head can be dangerous - like the "monkey mind" where we never feel settled and balanced. Instead, it would be wise to hang on to the [...]

Caring behaviours to nurture your relationship as a couple

By | 2017-12-23T23:26:11+00:00 August 3rd, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|

When a couple's relationship is stressed, often there is a reduction in caring behaviours -- verbal or non-verbal expressions of interest, respect, concern, and affection. Both partners are likely waiting for good feelings to return before acting positively towards each other. An effective way to jump start the relationship is to consciously increase the rate of [...]

We grieve because we love…

By | 2017-12-23T23:26:11+00:00 July 16th, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|

My favourite book on grief is Grieving Mindfully by Sameet Kumar. He notes that "love and grief are inextricably intertwined." It is good to remind ourselves that because we love, we grief. If our love is deep, our grief is deep. Just as love is a natural part of being human, so is grief. Grief is [...]