I am familiar with that tendency towards my own auto-pilot, i.e. reacting in a particular way to someone close to me (getting angry, or avoiding). Pema Chodron, in her book Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears asks us to think about which wolf we want to feed -- the wolf whose stomach [...]
Many of us, including myself, have played the role of "pleaser" in order to be loved and accepted. We may be familiar with being guilt-prone and with living with the voice of "shoulds." The following paragraph is excerpted from Wikipedia's description of Guilt (emotion): {Alice Miller claims that "many people suffer all their lives from this [...]
If we were holding on to a tree for safety, we wouldn't be at the top of the tree - succumbing to winds, rains, and storms. Similarly, living in our head can be dangerous - like the "monkey mind" where we never feel settled and balanced. Instead, it would be wise to hang on to the [...]
When a couple's relationship is stressed, often there is a reduction in caring behaviours -- verbal or non-verbal expressions of interest, respect, concern, and affection. Both partners are likely waiting for good feelings to return before acting positively towards each other. An effective way to jump start the relationship is to consciously increase the rate of [...]
My favourite book on grief is Grieving Mindfully by Sameet Kumar. He notes that "love and grief are inextricably intertwined." It is good to remind ourselves that because we love, we grief. If our love is deep, our grief is deep. Just as love is a natural part of being human, so is grief. Grief is [...]
Brian Luke Seaward in his book Stand Like Mountain, Move Like Water, said: "To see the entire picture, we must remember that creating a space is essential for acquiring new insights." He includes a quote from Lao Tzu in the Tao Te Ching: "Thirty spokes share the centre of one wheel; Consider that the hole of [...]
I came upon this quote by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, which, for me, brings about beautiful imagery, as well as the resilience and resourcefulness we can access through the healing process. "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if [...]
Desmond Tutu in "The Book of Forgiving" tells us that: "The invitation to forgive is not an invitation to forget. Nor is it an invitation to claim that an injury is less hurtful than it really is... The invitation to forgive is an invitation to find healing and peace." He adds that in his native language, [...]
I was inspired by the forum I participated in today, where we shared about the "inner teacher" within us. So often, we turn towards externals to give us approval, advice, answers. However, when we pause and can hold a space for stillness, we are embodied in our presence and can access our inner teacher. We just [...]
I like this article on "Silencing the Inner Critic" by Christina Feldman. She notes: "In the Sufi tradition, it is suggested that our thoughts should pass through three gates. At the first gate, we ask of our thought, 'Is it true?' If so, we let the thought pass through to the second gate, where we ask, [...]